Sunday, December 14, 2008

"You Wouldn't Believe" / 311 / From Chaos

When I started this blog I knew that there was the ever-present chance of digging up embarrassing songs from my playlist. I soldiered along, unedited, in an attempt to analyze myself and for the voyeristic pleasure of the reader. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?


This could very well be one of those times.

311 is, inexplicably, a guilty pleasure of mine. They and Kenny Rogers are the two biggest musical skeletons in my closet (and yes, you may know that Rush is my favorite band, but I made peace with that long, long time ago and have no regrets about it).

In my own defense, I do not own any albums of theirs. OK, technically, I bought "Music", their debut, back in 1993 due to hearing "Do You RIght" and "Visit" in the nascent days of 99x, but I sold that CD back at some point. I have five of their songs on my itunes, but I have honestly enjoyed almost every single they have released over the years.

You don't have to kill me on this. I know what makes them horrible, and by all rights I should loathe them. I mean, a group of white boys from Omaha, Nebraska (!) who attempt to make funky, reggae-and-ska-inspired rock music, with perhaps the world's worst whiney voiced rapper and a "singer" who is absolutely tuneless? I know. And perhaps their greatest crime is inspiring a generation of angry white boys to combine rap, rock, metal, and funk into a sound that just dominated alternative radio in the late 90's making it effectively unlistenable. I can picture a young, skinny red-capped Fred Durst sitting in his Jacksonville Florida home, hearing 311, rubbing his chin and thinking. "Hmmmmm....." The results speak for themselves:

Yikes


Anyhow, I know these guys got pretty popular there, mostly in the mid 90's and the "Down" days, but their popularity waned after alternative music went bust. They still are kicking around, though, and seem to be one of those bands that have carved out a little niche and have their core groups of followers.

Why do I have this song? Again, I couldn't really tell you why. It defies explanation. I'm relistening to it now, and there's nothing obviously great or even good about it. It has a nice, singable, catchy chorus, which is pretty much a mainstay with 311, and may be part of my soft spot for them. Oh, at 1:09, here comes their little rapper. Seriously, that dude is just bad, but he's so damn earnest and "tough" that it's just adorable. You go, 'lil fella! Oh, a bass solo from 1:40 to 2:00 - there's some points right there. Back comes the rapper at 2:58 for one more round, followed by an awful "Woah-oh-oh-oh, yeah!" as punctuation.

YouTube has spared you the embedding, so click here, if you are willing (Shaq? What the effing eff?).

Well, have at me in the comments, if you must. Part of me kind of welcomes it for the punishment I so richly deserve.

6 comments:

THE MERKIN MAN said...

I waited two weeks for this shit?

Really. I think you are hating on 311 to draw attention away from some of your more questionable tastes. Yeah, they are kinda bad and easy to make fun of . . . Kenny Rogers??? WTF? What is to be embarrassed about digging the Gambler of all people?

I liked Grassroots and Music. This song really isn't all that bad. I have heard (and enjoyed) far worse.

I still like the Spin Doctors and the Cardigans, but I don't go picking on Silverchair to compensate for self-loathing.

Anonymous said...

1. I have always been curious about the origin of 311's name. 311 is a common tag/tattoo within white supremacist circles as K is the 11th letter of the alphabet (KKK). Considering that the band's shitty fucking music is a fusion of rap, reggae, and rock (which makes their attempts only 1/3 white), this seems odd.

2. All this band makes me think about is douchebags. Guys who wear their sunglasses indoors, put "product" in their hair, drive Jeep Grand Cherokees, and call each other "bra." If you haven't checked out the site Hot Chicks with Douchebags (http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/), you should.

3. I like Kenny Rogers. Not everything he's done, though. He is one of those 80s pop country figures, like Barbara Mandrell, Ronnie Milsap, etc, who I enjoy listening to but mostly in a nostalgic sense. I hate that he was one of those responsible for the current state of country radio which is filled with Taylor Swifts and Faith Hills-- pop crossovers whose only country attribute is their birthplace or the location of their recording studio. And he, unlike Dolly Parton, never really put out strong, real country music.

3. Other necessary components for any Kenny Rogers discussion:

a. Kenny Rogers' Roasters
b. The 80s movie Six Pack
c. The website with all the pictures of guys who look like Kenny Rogers
d. The First Edition came before the New Edition
e. Didn't he live somewhere near Athens in the early to mid-90s?

Ralph Dilliard said...

Kenny Rogers is a national treasure. His mellifluous voicings are the essence of what it is to be human. Deny!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ez0UjPW4JA&feature=related

B. Mo said...

DB-

I always heard "311" was police code for insanity - you know how all the rappers and whatnot talk about the "187" (murder) or Van Halen with the "5150" (insanity again, I think). Ive heard the KKK thing before, but I think it's just a rumor.

I'm glad to see some love for KR here in the comments. As DB says, lots of my love for him is rooted in nostalgia. I remember coming home from elementary school and hanging out with my Mom playing board games and listening to Kenny Rogers Greatest Hits and The Oak Ridge Boys Greatest hits (on LP, of course).

Most of his stuff is complete schmatlz, but I do love it.

THE MERKIN MAN said...

The suburban legend I always heard was that 311 = "public nudity".

Ralph Dilliard said...

Kenny Rogers is such a prolific artist in so many arenas that I am perplexed as to why he should be considered a guilty pleasure. From his country masterpieces to his acting to his f'n incredible woodfired rotiserrie chicken the man is like King Midas. And before anyone goes off half cocked might I remind you of his work with the First Edition. Check it. The Dude abides.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZ8k6fVe25k